This week has been pretty good- less teaching and less interaction with foul fiends that inhabit musty classrooms. Teaching is not an entirely pleasant job but it is the lesser of two evils- the other being long boring hours at work, being stuck in a routine, being forced to perform mundane tasks, and forced on a short leash with two measly weeks of leave a year. Any self-respecting buffalo would choose to teach rather than endure the atrocities of a mind-numbing, soul-crushing 9-5 desk job. 12 weeks of holidays a year, school holidays and celebration days, a reasonably good pay... its enough to keep me comfortably nestled in my cozy kennel at this little corner of the staff room. Of course life would be better if my sow of a best friend could periodically look up from her boss' dick to reply to my messages on MSN but in this day and time, it is too much to ask. Bootlicking Cocksuckers Abound in the private sector.
I'm kinda hungry. Just in case my hunger pattern intrigues you, no matter what I consume, I'm always hungry at 1030. My digestive system awakes from its sweet slushy slumber and the juices start pumpin' and my stomach starts its jumpin'. I've been feeling better for the past week because I'm eating better. Still, I’ve yet to have a taste of sweet manna from heaven and nothing makes me feel better than having sweet.liquid.love past my lips…. via the alleys of appetite and into the chambers of love. The perennial conflict… Pistachio Almond or Mocha Almond Fudge? Just typing out these names sends a tremor of delight through me. I have sworn not to take a sip of milkshake till Raz returns but it was a foolish endeavour to begin with. Tomorrow I shall dine in style. How I long to lift that glass to my lips and let it seduce me with its saccharine loveliness as I ascend to Gluttons Paradise. The ends of my mouth are drippin’, all this talk has got me trippin’… As they say, sex is in the head so one must always prepare oneself for the gastronomical orgasm if climax is to be achieved. Activate salivary glands, Lubricate Piehole…. And ATTACK!
Sigh. Perhaps I should wait till tom before psyching myself up like this. My excitement is a little premature, considering the only stash I have at hand is bottled water and oatcakes with hummus. Oh btw, motherfucker got a haircut and he actually looks halfway decent now. I’m at a loss for words… a fundamental pillar of my Principles of Aesthetics has been challenged. If a measly haircut can modify human response to a mofo… then my theory needs major reworking. It MAY actually be possible for the very ugly to clean up their act.
This revelation is astounding. In the near future, there may come a time where the sight of a mofo will not seize my heart with dread, freeze my bladder and get my colon in a major twist; such that in its deep distress, my rectal walls collapse into a fistula.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Beauty
Some kids are so fucking ugly. I wonder how the ugly live and feel on a daily basis. I wonder what its like to look like a motherfucker. To know that even after cleaning up, you still look like you could suck Frankenstein’s cock. To be an object of derision, ignored by all, spurned by the women you lust over, appalled by the man in the mirror, and to have to feel inferior to the Beautiful Ones every day of your godforsaken existence. We all have the occasional bad day but for mofos, everyday is a bad day.
If I were a mofo, I would shy away from beautiful ones because those bitches would merely amplify all of my deficiencies. I would save up religiously for plastic surgery and ensure that my hygiene and manners are flawless- at the very least. I would definitely have to be as thin as I could possibly be and wear nice clothes. Makeup every day- I wouldn’t leave the house without it. Definitely surgery. Hair extensions. Manicures. Pedicures. Perfumes. “How to win friends and influence people.” would be my bible and Dale Carnegie my spiritual advisor. And of course I’d have to be rich and successful. I’d be forced to be a nice person… its my only hope at nabbing a human being who’d be attracted enough to want to stick dick or rub clit with me.
Then again, would I want to propagate such genes? It is my civic duty to ensure that I am not an assault to the senses of my people. Valiantly, for the welfare of mankind, I would humbly submit myself for sterilization. Life would not be worth living if I were a mofo. Too much pain to bear. I’m the jealous and bitter sort…Actually if you’ve never felt beautiful before, maybe you’ll get used to the feeling and it won’t bother you any more. You’ll just be everyone’s buddy and comfort blanket, loyal eunuch to the wives of your best buddies at those wild ‘dinner’ parties. Fuck. I wonder if even my mommy would love me.
I was taking attendance the other day and an involuntary shudder ran down my spine when I spied that devilish countenance. Swinish for sure. Curled sneering lips, wide ugly buck-ish teeth, dead dull eyes…. The atrocity my eyes had to endure as I beheld a mofo. The only true mofo in my class. Most are passable, some are ugly, some pretty cute and then that one unfortunate error that Mother Nature engendered. And they say God is merciful. I’m still disgusted when I look at him but of course I’m professional about it. I compose myself and I speak soothingly to it, offering it some semblance of kindness, some form of consolation, anything at all to numb the pain that dogs you when you have a face like your mother’s labia, spread out in its crowning glory.
If I were a mofo, I would shy away from beautiful ones because those bitches would merely amplify all of my deficiencies. I would save up religiously for plastic surgery and ensure that my hygiene and manners are flawless- at the very least. I would definitely have to be as thin as I could possibly be and wear nice clothes. Makeup every day- I wouldn’t leave the house without it. Definitely surgery. Hair extensions. Manicures. Pedicures. Perfumes. “How to win friends and influence people.” would be my bible and Dale Carnegie my spiritual advisor. And of course I’d have to be rich and successful. I’d be forced to be a nice person… its my only hope at nabbing a human being who’d be attracted enough to want to stick dick or rub clit with me.
Then again, would I want to propagate such genes? It is my civic duty to ensure that I am not an assault to the senses of my people. Valiantly, for the welfare of mankind, I would humbly submit myself for sterilization. Life would not be worth living if I were a mofo. Too much pain to bear. I’m the jealous and bitter sort…Actually if you’ve never felt beautiful before, maybe you’ll get used to the feeling and it won’t bother you any more. You’ll just be everyone’s buddy and comfort blanket, loyal eunuch to the wives of your best buddies at those wild ‘dinner’ parties. Fuck. I wonder if even my mommy would love me.
I was taking attendance the other day and an involuntary shudder ran down my spine when I spied that devilish countenance. Swinish for sure. Curled sneering lips, wide ugly buck-ish teeth, dead dull eyes…. The atrocity my eyes had to endure as I beheld a mofo. The only true mofo in my class. Most are passable, some are ugly, some pretty cute and then that one unfortunate error that Mother Nature engendered. And they say God is merciful. I’m still disgusted when I look at him but of course I’m professional about it. I compose myself and I speak soothingly to it, offering it some semblance of kindness, some form of consolation, anything at all to numb the pain that dogs you when you have a face like your mother’s labia, spread out in its crowning glory.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
freaky fridae
its friday its friday fuck me fuck me this glorious day heralds the weekend-away, far far away from the annoying pricks that i have to teach. today after sch im meeting razzie and we're heading to inlingua@somerset to register for our mandarin class, which commences tomo. after that its swensons for us! wee hoo!
i was initially reluctant to join Raz because its just before Spanish and we have 10 mins to get our asses to Bencoolen, which is unrealistic. AND my saturdays are allready pretty hectic. but well... the timing is perfect and i'll have a friend. its time to stop making excuses. if not now then when? which other 10-week block would be better? just do it girl! besides, its really embarrassing not being able to pronounce my students' names. and i wanna know what these stinkin reekin amarillo de hombres are sayin behind my back. Yo tengo enfadado. grrrr!
im still fighting off the narcilepsy. i feel so groggy. i can get up on time but i cant seem to stay awake in the morning. ugh. i just googled it and apparently i should sit under the AC or sit on an uncomfortable chair and sit up straight and drink coffee or sniff essential oils. fuck all that! life is tough and you want me to make it harder? fuck out of here! asswipes! savages!
i dont get why so many of my colleagues are walking past my desk. it gets tiring to be on your guard all the time. my cursor lies on my PowerPoint tab, ready and waiting. Naomi is such a poker face- she probably was Lady Gaga's inspiration for that song. can't she just smile a bit. or smile genuinely? i feel like sticking up a finger whenever she bares her teeth. where is the life??? zombie-ass cunt. she's harmless though. but ill be surprised if i ever spy the smallest hint of a genuine upward crease on those lips of hers. miserable cow. get a personality transplant! bitch.
and horsey mabel annoys me with that face of hers. i NEED to slap her, like the dessert needs the rain, like a poet needs the pain. it sucks that i have an annoying and haughty face too. i can't quite relish all my dark thoughts because they tend to turn towards me too. me and my fucked up face. sigh. come to bed naomi and mabel. maybe if we all make love it'll go away. ewwwwww! dont even dream of it you skanky motherfuckers!
i just learnt that we have Drama meetup today. i do have a skin appt at 3pm which is impt because im on ISTN. and im also gonna do a skin peel. so whatta do... i'll assess the situation, see how much damage my absence will do and if its worth it im pressing on with my plans.
This week has been rather fucked up. last week went pretty well- i was upbeat and withit. things took a sinister turn this week. im getting tired of my restless and disobedient charges who will not deign to listen when the Sultanah speaks. In another time and place, I would be on my throne, admiring the severed heads my guards have brought to me for inspection, as proof that those who offend the Queen have to pay with their worthless lives. All i would have to do is sniff and snarl 'Loathsome Creature!' and the deed would be done. I may even have adorned my bedroom with their skulls- integrate it with the decor a little. worse still... this annoying fuckmouth retard of a teacher asked me if i was pregnant. all because i said i was tired. this sort of swinish rudeness cannot be tolerated. fine, i have a pooch but one must NEVER ask fat girls if they're pregnant. its common courtesy to ask around and perhaps indulge in a private snigger.... if of course, you do not fear the wrath of God Amighty WHO CAN READ EVIL THOUGHTS AND WILL PUNISH YOU FOR IT............before dropping the bombshell.
Just yest my student- this cute boy whom i still like- asked me why i dress like im 35 instead of 23-24. still, he didnt have to ask that in front of a bunch of girls who burst out laughing. so im fat and i look old. thank you god, for this wonderful life.
who's that hysterical bitch in the pantry? one more giggle and im goin over to bust some balls. there is nothin to giggle about like that in a freakin school. lately, I've been afflicted with this keen sense of urgency. I'm almost 24 and what have i done with my life? what have i achieved? i have been so out of it for years. i havent actually lived life. apart from those wild nights that we'd occasionally have when i was in uni. i have not come out of my shell. i need to. i need to do stuff, learn stuff and be someone. i dont blame myself for the reclusiveness- i think you just have to learn from it BUT im desperate to make up for lost time. i need to live my life and be vital and feel alive.
I have a lesson in an hour's time. Notes to print, stuff to prepare, things to do but no food to eat. Khong Guan biscuits actually taste poisonous. my taste buds feel inflamed.
I'm feeling the strain...and im too sleepy to deal with it. i just need to get out of school fast.
i was initially reluctant to join Raz because its just before Spanish and we have 10 mins to get our asses to Bencoolen, which is unrealistic. AND my saturdays are allready pretty hectic. but well... the timing is perfect and i'll have a friend. its time to stop making excuses. if not now then when? which other 10-week block would be better? just do it girl! besides, its really embarrassing not being able to pronounce my students' names. and i wanna know what these stinkin reekin amarillo de hombres are sayin behind my back. Yo tengo enfadado. grrrr!
im still fighting off the narcilepsy. i feel so groggy. i can get up on time but i cant seem to stay awake in the morning. ugh. i just googled it and apparently i should sit under the AC or sit on an uncomfortable chair and sit up straight and drink coffee or sniff essential oils. fuck all that! life is tough and you want me to make it harder? fuck out of here! asswipes! savages!
i dont get why so many of my colleagues are walking past my desk. it gets tiring to be on your guard all the time. my cursor lies on my PowerPoint tab, ready and waiting. Naomi is such a poker face- she probably was Lady Gaga's inspiration for that song. can't she just smile a bit. or smile genuinely? i feel like sticking up a finger whenever she bares her teeth. where is the life??? zombie-ass cunt. she's harmless though. but ill be surprised if i ever spy the smallest hint of a genuine upward crease on those lips of hers. miserable cow. get a personality transplant! bitch.
and horsey mabel annoys me with that face of hers. i NEED to slap her, like the dessert needs the rain, like a poet needs the pain. it sucks that i have an annoying and haughty face too. i can't quite relish all my dark thoughts because they tend to turn towards me too. me and my fucked up face. sigh. come to bed naomi and mabel. maybe if we all make love it'll go away. ewwwwww! dont even dream of it you skanky motherfuckers!
i just learnt that we have Drama meetup today. i do have a skin appt at 3pm which is impt because im on ISTN. and im also gonna do a skin peel. so whatta do... i'll assess the situation, see how much damage my absence will do and if its worth it im pressing on with my plans.
This week has been rather fucked up. last week went pretty well- i was upbeat and withit. things took a sinister turn this week. im getting tired of my restless and disobedient charges who will not deign to listen when the Sultanah speaks. In another time and place, I would be on my throne, admiring the severed heads my guards have brought to me for inspection, as proof that those who offend the Queen have to pay with their worthless lives. All i would have to do is sniff and snarl 'Loathsome Creature!' and the deed would be done. I may even have adorned my bedroom with their skulls- integrate it with the decor a little. worse still... this annoying fuckmouth retard of a teacher asked me if i was pregnant. all because i said i was tired. this sort of swinish rudeness cannot be tolerated. fine, i have a pooch but one must NEVER ask fat girls if they're pregnant. its common courtesy to ask around and perhaps indulge in a private snigger.... if of course, you do not fear the wrath of God Amighty WHO CAN READ EVIL THOUGHTS AND WILL PUNISH YOU FOR IT............before dropping the bombshell.
Just yest my student- this cute boy whom i still like- asked me why i dress like im 35 instead of 23-24. still, he didnt have to ask that in front of a bunch of girls who burst out laughing. so im fat and i look old. thank you god, for this wonderful life.
who's that hysterical bitch in the pantry? one more giggle and im goin over to bust some balls. there is nothin to giggle about like that in a freakin school. lately, I've been afflicted with this keen sense of urgency. I'm almost 24 and what have i done with my life? what have i achieved? i have been so out of it for years. i havent actually lived life. apart from those wild nights that we'd occasionally have when i was in uni. i have not come out of my shell. i need to. i need to do stuff, learn stuff and be someone. i dont blame myself for the reclusiveness- i think you just have to learn from it BUT im desperate to make up for lost time. i need to live my life and be vital and feel alive.
I have a lesson in an hour's time. Notes to print, stuff to prepare, things to do but no food to eat. Khong Guan biscuits actually taste poisonous. my taste buds feel inflamed.
I'm feeling the strain...and im too sleepy to deal with it. i just need to get out of school fast.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
